A big issue that has haunted me for years is never knowing what I should do. Let me explain. Starting in my high school years I have often wonderd what I should be doing with my life? This question has always been on the backburner of my mind because whatever I ended up doing left me wanting and unsatisfied. I have on many occasions felt that working in a church, running my own small business and now with the hopes of grad school right around the corner, have often times felt like 'the silver bullet' I have been looking for. But for some reason left me unsatisfied with the direction it was pointing me in. What I have added to life in place of finding where my 'deep gladness' resides has been a temporary break from the pressure and guilt sometimes associated with 'not having it all figured out'. Just 'being' have been the most rewarding times in life, especially when 'not having it together' is all too familare and all too common. There seems to be a underlying thought in Christianity that says you need to be moving forward and growing, and if your not, your essentially not living the life God intended you to live. I'm sure if your like me, have experinced the unsatisfaction, on one level or another, the church has put forth and called it genuine hope.

With these thoughts as a backdrop, Wright has brought to light many aspects of hope [mostly neglected by Christianity], offering a peaceful place to live. Not through guilt or condemnation but a gladness in the peace and accaptence and redemption of 'putting things to right'. There is a vast difference that exist in the hope of being 'removed' from this life to the hope of this life being redeemed. It is that redemption where justice, mercy and reconciliation are given a fresh hope to a neglected life.

In America, for some reason, we enjoy a two party system. In politics we have the republicans and democrates, in morals we have liberal and conservative, and in Christianity we have fundamentalist and progressive. The problem with a two party systems is twofold; the third option is neglected and the corruptability of the two options is traced with ease.

I want to speak on the third option being neglected. It has been my experience coupled with my theology, that God has worked and continues to work in the third option. Without falling into the trap of being labled as 'fundamentalist or progressive' we become free to work where 'the worlds deep hunger and our deep gladness' co-exist. The ideas of justice and mercy no longer become excuses to keep God at arms lenght or allow us to become so consumed with a social gospel that forgets the relational meaning God intended us to enjoy. The third option then becomes a viable option offering a peaceful place to live.

Once we make the leap into the deepness of the third option the 'hurry-ness' of getting to the next stage of our spiritual journey becomes filled with hope and not guilt. The one way mirror of the two party system is changed into a clean slate of glass that allows us to see where Gods work and our deep gladness exist. The barrier will still exist until God finally 'puts things to right' but the clarity that becomes apparent in the third option allows for grace and peace to everyone who experiences injustice, opression and a less quality of life.
I would like to end by saying these are just a collection of thoughts on my interaction with the book 'surprised by hope'. The thoughts are mostly incomplete and are in waiting for there full fruition. Also, my intention is not to discedit a tradition, that I believe has gotten it wrong in the past, but to bridge the gap of past and present and in no greater place than my own life.
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Kingdom

I hope over the next few weeks to interact with some of Wrights thoughts on what the 'kingdom of God' means to christians living out a daily missional lifestyle. Although these may be some new and challenging thoughts, my real reason for posting will be for clarification sake on my personal behalf. I believe it to be an oddity that specific aspects of life come in many shapes and sizes, often from unsuspecting directions and if you are anthing like me, it is with great delight that life takes an abrupt change of course on a unseemingly journey of constant surprise.

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Question

I wonder how will the mothership [aka ESPN] ruin the beautiful game?
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Whenever your in reverse, things come at you from behind

Last night the wife and I posted up on our back porch to de-compress from the day. There is a new conversation we have been having about our spiritual lives in the context of a traditional Christianity that exist in the south. It has been with some ease to identify the differences of a cultural context that exist within church, lifestyle and immediate family.

One specific point of interest is in the use of the typical Christian lingo to describe an individuals journey with God. Phrases like 'let go and let God...we needed to have a come to Jesus meeting...and my personal favorite...I'm just living a blessed life!' Provides me with a slight chuckle within my spirit. Don't misunderstand me, I am not discrediting the emotional and spiritual experience one has had, but what is disappointing is the lack of words people use to describe their experience.

It seems to me that the standard Christian lingo that accompanies some of the most influential experience one has in this life, falls short of the true reality in which the experience first offered. I ache deep within, when the phrase 'let go and let God' is used to describe a specific experience one had in the past. I understand the sentiment in which one is using the phrase, but what I want to ask is... 'how would you say that another way?' On a side note there are two things I find disturbing with the phrase 'let go and let God'

1. It communicates a detachment of our interaction with the world. I truly be live that we are Gods workers of redemption in this world. Let me explain that a little more. God is reconciling this world to a new heaven and new earth, and we are key figures of that reconciliation. Another way to say that, is in the words of Mr. Beuchner, speaking about joy, he states 'our deep gladness meets the worlds deep hunger'. My hope is that people will be thoughtful and specific in describing an experience they have with God.

2. The Church, specifically its people, are in a constant dynamic relationship with its God. As the seasons of life change, words to describe those changes need to be equally dynamic. It comes with discomfort to use words, with almost a jaded consequence, to describe an experience with God that has matured past the point of the original experience. If you find yourself using to same phrases and words to describe your current relationship then I purpose that the relationship is unhealthy. My sneaky suspicion is that relationships we have now mirror our relationship with God.

Back to the original point.

Although the differences come to light with much ease, the question that remains needs to be answered. 'How should we interact with the culture that exist around us without discrediting the tradition it holds up so lofty? In other words, how are we to be in a community with others and God, when that community lacks the creative expression to verbalize the love and joy a community with others and God brings?'

My conclusion, which is all too familiar, is that we initially don't posses the depth of relationship God intended is to have. How do I know this?

Have you ever met a person who seems to be full of life, so full of passion that when they speak, of something that is old hat, they speak as if its the first and only time you have heard of that thought? Allow me if you will, to suggest that those who speak with such life and passion, are those who have a direct line to the depth of community God intended is to enjoy. To make a further suggestion... If you are lucky enough to find those that have a direct line to the almighty, hang on to them and never let go!

But my point remains that we lack the creative verbage or better yet use past verbage as expressions of what we are experiencing now with others and God. [Jesus retold the story of God with creative verbage that communicated to the community he was apart of]

The sad reality we exist in, is our poor use of verbage, specifically that hasn't moved from a time period that is no longer present nor communicative, about experiencing a community with others and God that looks, feels, and acts like nothing before the present moment. The sad hope that exist is that once we can use words that move past a time that no longer exist, but understand the importance that time period played, to a creative expression of the moments and community in current time, we are then free to enjoy the depths of a community with others and God.

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Time Remaining

The journey of searching for a church to call home is taking a little longer than I first anticipated. We have been attending a place that is fairly typical for the south; big [1000] a heavy emphasis on kids, somewhat of an edgy sermon, hip songs played by a 'rock band' in contrast to a typical choir, but found myself annoyed by the standard lingo that is vomited from 'pulpits' all over the south! The teaching had little to do with understanding the cultural backround with which it was written in, and had absolutly nothing to apply to the current reality as a Christ-follower. The talk was 'salt and peppered' with things like...'We love you unconditionally but...if the church is not growing then its dead....' Which are fairly easy things to say in an upper middle class america. My issue with the church was I....
A. Don't want to constantly have to correct in my mind misguided information. Healthy living begins with right information.
B. Chances are that the next church we call home is going to be the church my kid learns about Christ, and I want my kid to be brought up without having a negative experience with Jesus from an early age at a church. Plus going back to point A, of constantly back stepping back making comments like 'what the talk was trying to say...'
C. I feel a true sense of deep sadness for the people that are being produced by misguided information, bad parenting choices and a lack of a place that will accept them for just as they are.

My fear is that a healthy place like that doesn't exist in close proximity to my daily home. Which in part opens another conversatin about 'doing life with your community' what is requird to live out your values? At the end of the day I believe this is all I want...a healthy place to call home. I don't care about the non essentials of hymns vs. Songs or Sunday vs. Tuesday or liturgical vs. Laid back. I seek a place that maintains a missional lifestyle locally and globally, a place that is 'surprised by hope' each week, a place that understands the culture of people it is becoming as the redemptive story of Christ is being played out, a place that that accepts you just as you are.

Its a strange combination to have an amazing amount of hope and fear at the same moment for something that seems like a myth. My hope is that a healthy place to call home is right around the corner but my fear is that I am just following sign post into the fog.

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A friday night at the Sulateskee's

Tonight is fairly typical at our home as of late. Order a Pizza from "Planet Pizza" which includes the various toppings of Italian sausage, pepperoni and banana peppers. Then we sit to watch a movie, or like tonight we are on our second one, and it's only 7:30. We watched "American president" which to our surprise had a ton of West Wing characters and the screenplay was written by our beloved Aaron Sorkin. Currently, we are watching "Mr. Woodcock"...it's a strange movie but funny in a train wreck kind of way. It's been nice to have some quite evenings at home, relaxing with each other and not pondering 'what should we do tonight?'

Kindred spirits on a journey

Having an ability, and more importantly time to think and have conversations within my head, there are few rhythms I have been able to develop since moving to the south.
1. Reading-I read way more and by default have more to say than I ever imagined I would. I read it years ago..."reading makes you rich!"
2. Vanilla chai-always a consistent intake of chai over the the years, I now find myself enjoying Dunkin Donuts chai, partly because it's the only place in my neck of the woods that has free wi-fi. Made ups for the double D.
3. Conan-a huge fan of Conan O'brian over the years, but since his move to the earlier time slot, I'm not enjoying it as I once had. Maybe once he gets settled in, the old tricks will return?
4.Cooking-most people that don't cook, never really now how to cook. There is a certain "flare" for cooking. Either you got it or not! And as of late, I have realized that cooking is something that I enjoy and really enjoy experimenting with new combinations. My only regret in this department is that I won't be able to share my cooking adventure with my good friend Noah. We have always appreciated good food, but never had the pleasure of cooking together. [This is probable the most gay thing I have done lately]
5. Football- European, although Sunday afternoon Bronco games will never be replaced, but the south has yet to fully understand the importance of a rich tradition like euro footy. My favorite team has always been ManUnited, and will always be. Give me a beautiful pitch any day of the week, and life seems to be alright.

On a more serious note, to follow up my last post. Wright has just begun to muddle around in the idea of "hope existing in the judgement of Christ." I'm almost timid to read further, partly because of how much it will require of life change within myself, partly because I think I need to spend a few more day's with the last 200 pages. I find not only my mind being stretched but also my actions. Maybe it's a combination of head and heart blending together coupled with maturity, but I truly believe that my hope has been dormant for a while, and being refreshed by words of light, life and love; encouragement has come from many directions.
I continually think of those who are kindred spirits with my personal journey and wonder what they might think or how they might be, especially when words like "fair" communicate so well with those that know and understand even in silence.

...to create space to create

It's been a nutty week! Beside the nuttiness, I did want to share some thoughts concerning a book I'm reading, 'surprised by hope' N.T.Wright. It's a gem of a read! One of the favorite parts of my day has been reading before falling asleep, or falling asleep while reading, however with this book I just read and read and read! And once I find myself at a good stopping point, I put the book down, turn out the light, and lay awake for hours thinking about the new possibilities this life holds in light of the new possibilities God gives us. Needless to say the title is an accurate statement of how I have felt over the past 2 weeks. I can't wait to sit down and re-read it again.

One thought that keeps me up at night is the creation of..well...everything! Wright brings out the idea that God had to create space within himself to create everything we are able to enjoy. Just muddle around in that thought for a while! 'God created space to create'. It's an aspect of life that is beyond anything I can grasp now, nor do I think I'll ever be able to fully understand. But the creativity it takes to design, paint, mold, all those start with raw material. But to create space to create. I don't know how that exactly works. And in the midst of that simply complex thought, there is a hope embedded deep within us and within God to put 'all to rights'! I don't know how this all fits together but like the title say's "our wildly probably hope -that all will be well!"

Moving

This is my first real chance to sit down and write electronicaly. I have had a good amount of time to write for myself, and writing for others, even if I only read this, uses another side of the imagination, that is lost in the silence of my time alone.

Coming upon two months of being removed, life has been breathable. Up until recently, life had been filled with coming and going and more going than anything else. As the south has played a new hand of my different life. I am able to slow down a bit more, to see internally and externally for what it's meant to be. The buetiful life I can have this side of seeing "things put to rights".

I know it is only short but I have enjoyed these brief moments and wonder when the next will come?! I hope you too find those moments of breathing: of seeing life has it was meant.

By the way I hope my friend Jared has found the "peace that passeth understanding" with his blessing of life!

grace and peace.